Dear Son, when was the last time you’ve heard me say this? (hint: never)
Hey Son, just wanted to tell you the last two weeks have been really hard.
Heck yeah the past two weeks have been extraordinarily challenging. And now you’ve finally heard me say those words.
Live your life so that if someone said anything bad about you, no one would believe it.
This allows my worst delivery (by a million miles) to be an obvious anomaly with a defense that isn’t necessary.